Wednesday, 21 June 2017

Oh The Things We Do As Women...

I really thought it important to blog about our fertility issues, my P.C.O.S and on going tests I've been having this year so here is a round up about what has been happening.

In 2014 I had 3 miscarriages, I really struggled to come to terms with them and I received some basic tests at a hospital nearby which concluded I had P.C.O.S it came as a shock and we didn't know if we would be able to add to our family. I was, after a few tests put on Metformin tablets which are used for diabetes but also can regulate cycles and hormone levels. These tablets made me feel rotten and in this time M had also been diagnosed with M.S.

Dealing with a poorly husband was hard and not knowing what would happen in the coming years made me really doubt having treatment. We decided as a couple we would keep going as the regret of not having a bigger family would be worse than trying and failing this being said after going through the miscarriages I was unsure of if I could carry on.

In March 2015 M recieved some life changing treatment of Alemtuzumab, during this time we could not try for a baby as new treatment meant no knowledge of the impact on having children during treatment time.

In the time we waited (a year) it was a time of healing for me. We grew as a family in ways I never expected.

Our boys are always enough for us to always be content at two but at the same time we wanted more. Our boys were so brilliant they opened my eyes to how brilliant being a parent was that having more was only going to enhance the experience of being a Mum. Before I met M I never wanted to be a parent. I always felt like I didn't have anything to offer a child and neither did the world. I was rather selfish before I met M, immature and I wanted life my way. When I met M I had an awakening to how life could be enjoyed by putting someone else first, I mean I always always help friends out in need but with M it was a need of wanting to make him happy for the rest of our lives together.

When M asked if we could try for a child at the bottom of the Eiffel Tower one cold snowy day, I didn't instantly say yes.

I asked for time, to think about it and to research being a parent. It was a huge step for someone who never wanted children. It took 3 months of asking friends with children and looking at how much children cost and what they needed, being the youngest in my generation of family I really had no idea on babies. When we had B it wasn't an easy pregnancy and birth, but when he was placed on me I knew life wasn't going to be the same again. I fell instantly in love. Being a parent has been a rollercoster one which is amazing, I am so glad M offered me this opportunity, It's possibly the best thing we have done in life, which is why we would love to add to our tribe.

After M's treatment was over we got referred back to a local hospital but we asked to go to a different one, one which was we could have private treatment at. We decided because we could afford it and because we wanted it so badly we would have one big last attempt. Well its been nearly a year since changing hospitals and we are still in the process of eliminating problems.

I have had so much blood taken from my veins that it feels like they cant take no more. I've had my (non existing) cycles monitored and My womb lining has been measured more times than I care to mention.

In the spring I had a hysterosalpingogram scan. I wont sugar coat this, it was the most unpleasant scan I have even had, It hurt.

I was told it would be uncomfortable, but if no blockage then it should go without pain. My left tube was fine as was my uterus. My right side however hurt, it hurt so much I felt like I was about to pass out and the following few days were a complete blur of pain, to the point I was given oral morphine by my local hospital. I had lots of blood tests over the following weeks, no infection. I had scans, nothing to show. Finally it settled down and you know I would have that test again to find the outcome. So they found my right side seems blocked at certain point.

Since having my boys I have always had issues with my right side, pain on and off. It's where I have had cysts.

All this being said the hospital decided I needed an operation a Laparoscopy and repeat HSG scan whilst asleep.

My pre-operation check was last week. I expected to go in have bloods, urine and blood pressure checked and be home with in an hour. How ever this didn't go to plan. One of the questioned asked about family history, answer ended me up at the cardiology unit having a ECG. Amazingly they found my heart! and it was beating correctly, so not a thing to worry about and I was cleared for my operation.

Both the HSG scan and Laparoscopy aren't great things to experience but to have peace of mind that the blockage isn't anything to worry about will be worth it. The biggest bit about fertility is being health first and foremost, so I am healthy for my family.  I found whilst preparing for the HSG scan and the operation it was hard to find information about it all as people just don't speak about women's problems. They are real and happening in the world, so I thought I would share bits of my experience.  Don't ever give up if you want something, If one Doctor wont listen or treat you correctly, another will. Never give up on things you want.


  1. The last line you write is so important and something to focus on during tough times :)

  2. Ah what a difficult experience for you :( You are right tho - never give up if it is something you truly want xx

  3. I agree....if you want something, don't give up. It's amazing what can happen against all the odds and looking forward to following your journey x

  4. I hope everything turns out the way you would like, it can be such a huge emotional journey x

  5. It sounds like you've been through so much. It's so important not to give up on what you want x

  6. I totally agree with the last line. We lost 15 babies to miscarriage and our second son to stillbirth, I never gave up on my hope of a family and here I am with four children in my arms, proof that miracles do happen. xx

  7. Sounds like you have had a rough ride but I admire you for pushing on through. I hope you get your wish x